Week 11 – Day 73 off Wall Street

This is it, last day before the exam tomorrow!

“I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life and that is why I succeed.”  – Michael Jordan

Week 11 – Day 72 off Wall Street

I saw ABC’s The Bachelor for the first time today, and I can’t help but think that’s how I could end up, 31/unmarried, but for entirely different reasons.  It will be because I’m ballin’ too hard as  a broker.

I’ve never really noticed this show before, but it’s fairly entertaining.

It’s currently on week 3.  This show offers psychopathic women and ridiculousness not seen since Tila Tequila exposed herself as the biggest fraud in show business.  It’s not quite as crazy, but then again it’s ABC and not MTV.  ABC just keeps it real white.  What that means is that there’s almost no minorities, blacks and asians are completely off limits (except for this one chick which I’ll describe in a moment).

Some of the women’s chances with this guy are no closer than me landing on the moon.  There was a Cambodian woman by the name of Channy who decided that spouting her incomprehensible funny language through her overbite would be a sexy turn-on.  She thought wrong.  The one liner she used on that show – “You can land your plane on my landing strip anytime.” – was truly one of the biggest failures in human judgment in the history of television shows.

I have to say this show is definitely better than The Bachelorette spinoff which I’ve never seen, but who would want to see a bunch of dudes go after one woman.  It’s much more fun to see 25 delusional women lose their minds.

Week 11 – Day 71 off Wall Street

I’ve decided to just stay at home until the test date since I get no more utility out of studying at the firm.

Some light review and relaxation should be fine before the exam date.  I’m scoring between 85-92, but mostly in the upper range for the past dozen practice tests.

Week 10 – Day 68 on Wall Street

I heard some of the new guys quit already.  That’s weak.

To be successful here isn’t just about skill or luck, sometimes you just need to outlast everyone else and you’ll make it.

Week 10 – Day 67 off Wall Street

Exactly one week before the Series 7.  Happy Birthday to my sister today!

Stayed home, going back in tomorrow even though I don’t have to.

Week 10 – Day 66 on Wall Street

These new trainees have it so easy now.  I don’t think that’s a good thing either.  There’s a certain work ethic and ability to withstand punishment that you have to build during this training period, and if you’re not being subjected to tough shit, you might not make it in the long term.

There’s chairs in the boardroom for them to sit down during breaks.  All of them have access to the internet so they have an opportunity to study faster than we did.  By we, I mean the 1st group that started at my firm when they started their aggressive expansion.  The new guys don’t endure freezing room temperatures, they don’t study late, they don’t come in on time, they don’t get yelled at, and they never had meetings with specific senior brokers.

I take the actual test next Thursday.  I’ve been told that I don’t need to go in until the exam date.  I probably will anyway because I want to be there.  Once I start getting lax, I fall back into old routines, bad habits, and a tendency to go nowhere in life but sideways.  There’s too many average Joes out there (men and women), like pretty much almost everyone I’ve met in my life.  No offense intended, they ‘re all great people, but I surely don’t want to stay in their ranks.

Week 10 – Day 65 on Wall Street

“Chris, come with me to Compliance, you’re going to get your U4 filled out!” yelled the woman in the white sweater and tight pants.  It was the business development director”s assistant, and she was talking about the paperwork you need to fill out before you can take the actual test.  She’s a young woman with a nice smile and a vivacious kind of personality that puts a smile on your face.  Very important qualities for an assistant.

“Ok lets go, hurry!”  All of a sudden I was running.  Very fast down marble hallways that I was told to never run around on.  I thought what the hell is going on and what’s the rush?

As I walked into the chief compliance officer’s room, there were two new trainees already talking to him.  The office seemed like a simple enough place.  I was under the impression everyone was partying in here all the time, but it looked like some real work got done in there.  He was explaining to the two trainees about what they would be going through.  I found out that they’re actually on my team working under my senior broker.  The CCO told me to sit down and his assistant would take care of me.  I turned and looked.  There she was, the petite brunette assistant that I talked about a few weeks ago on this blog.  Understand that being trapped in these offices and not seeing a single beautiful female in weeks, she looked like a pretty piece of cake asking to be devoured.

I sat down and listened to the CCO talk about the greenlight with the two trainees.  He said something and looked at me and said, “right?”  I chimed in and said “yeah, I got an 84 on the greenlight.  Just take a lot of practice tests, I took 58.  I think I have the record.”  (As of the end of today, I’m actually up to 61 exams taken).  The assistant looked at me wide-eyed and just breathed “wow…”  Everyone has the same reaction.  What’s the big deal?  I do at the minimum 500 questions a day which is four exams.  It’s not difficult but it gets annoying.

So I sat there for awhile longer while some senior brokers came in to get some business cards.  I looked around and snuck in some glances at the assistant as she worked on something on her computer.  I was fairly certain she wasn’t doing shit and just playing solitaire.

I’d like to say right now that I wanted to mess around a bit but I just had to keep disciplined instead of acting like my natural immature self.  The business development head had recommended to us multiple times to keep our eyes to the floor or walls whenever we walk by the assistants.

Anyway, this assistant told me she was doing some spreadsheet and said, “just sit back and enjoy the ride!”  What I wanted to say was, “that’s what she said.”  As I was waiting, she asked me about the series 7 and some tips because she said she was taking it too.  She started laughing and said, “it’s hard for me to focus on it!  I’m working 8 hours a day and studying for 4.  I wish I could take a month off and just study for it, but…not gonna happen…”

She sounded smart talking to her boss about something, uttering words I’ve never heard any woman utter.  Then he gave her some complicated instructions to make an email for him.  She kind of stared into space while running her hand through her hair multiple times as he was talking to her.  She slightly rolled her eyes and a grin started to appear across her face as she caught me smiling at her because I knew she didn’t want to do it.  When her boss left the room, we went over my contact information and she asked me about my last job at Citi and what I did.  I said “I was an analyst”, and she decided to fuck with me and replied, “I’m going to put intern for you…hehe not to demote you or anything…  I don’t know if you’ve gotten U4’ed before.”  I stared at her blankly not really listening to what she was saying, and I nodded slowly…righhhhttt.

We made some more small talk and she probably sensed that I was here for way too long (not that I was complaining), and she smirked at me and said “Don’t worry, I have your U4 done.  I multitask!”

On my way out, she yelled, “good luuuuckkk!”  I yelled back “thanks, don’t work too hard ok?!” as she looked up and smiled.  This is what my life has come down to.  Dressing up a story about a trip to a compliance office.

Week 10 – Day 64 on Wall Street

I actually felt excited to wake up today, and I couldn’t wait to get into work.  Then when I got in, I was a lot less excited when I realized I might not be able to take the actual test as soon as I hoped.  There’s some kinks to work out with scheduling.

A new group of trainees started today.   They have no idea what they’re in for.

Week 9 – Day 61 on Wall Street – Greenlight

I passed the greenlight examination with an 84.  You need at least a 70-75.  I was aiming for a 90.  Some people fucked up and got like 61…62…66.  They’re in deep shit.  We’ve been studying for 12-13 hours a day everyday for over a month.  There’s no way you should be getting scores that low.  By next week, I’ll pass the actual fucking test, and then the hard part begins.

The trainees got yelled at today.  This time the verbal abuse went critical.

We had the compliance officer come in and tell us that anyone who’s disturbing other people from studying is disturbing the firm, and they will get sent home.  This is a regulated, controlled, tight environment.  Everything has to run like clockwork.

We had a senior broker come in and tell us that he has a vested interest in all of us to succeed, that we need to tell people to shut the fuck up if they’re talking to us, and that there’s no question that the senior brokers here will turn you into million dollar producers.  We need to stop wasting time and get out there and start making money.

We had the managing director come in and tell us that he will fire any one of us in a heartbeat and that we could get fired as we’re taking the exam.  We know he’s not kidding because he’s fired more people than I care to count.

We had the business development head give us another inspiring speech that also struck fear into our hearts.

Over at this firm, you have to get with the program quick or you’re out.  There’s no shame in not making it, but not making it because you didn’t try your hardest is shameful.  It’s not for everybody, and some people will simply prefer to do the 9-5 and make a 100 grand a year.  Now that I’ve seen what’s possible, that’s a fairly mediocre goal that most people won’t even achieve.  This firm skips mediocrity and takes a shortcut to the top.  However, that shortcut is littered with potholes the size of Texas.

Everyday feels like your last day.  Relaxation is a vestigial word for a luxury that you no longer know.  It would be unbearable if it weren’t for the fact that the best brokers on Wall Street work here, and they teach you to become a beast.  The top 0.01% work at this firm and you owe it to them to live, breathe, and eat this fucking shit for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and every meal in between.  The fact of the matter is that these guys are churning out millions of dollars because the work ethic here is on a level you’ve never seen.

Week 9 – Day 60 on Wall Street

Nobody asked for life to deal us
With these bullshit hands we’re dealt
We have to take these cards ourselves
And flip them, don’t expect no help

By tomorrow, I will have taken 55 practice exams, over 5000 questions, read over 700 pages, and I will have passed my greenlight examination which will enable to me to go take the real exam.