Category Archives: Wall Street Broker

Almost there, going nowhere

I want to apologize to readers and to myself for being a raging pussy.  I was running out of things to talk about since, well you know, being unemployed and all doesn’t really produce a lot of interesting stories.  Therefore, I had to share some mundane bullshit about my second bout of newfound freedom, my generic social life and how I love it so much.

This blog should only be about things related to Wall Street, the senseless spending of money, pleasures derived from money, and the borderline narcissistic behavior that I exhibit from time to time.

The CFA Level 1 is proving harder than I thought.  I have a tendency to have trouble concentrating on one thing for an extended period of time, as I do one thing and feel the urge to move on to another.  I don’t like getting “hung up” on things.  Some people call that ADD but that would be a wrong diagnosis because I’m still able to read books in one sitting.  I prefer calling it a tendency to ‘come, fuck shit up, and leave’.  Because of this and some other difficulties, I surfed Analyst Forum for suggestions on studying.  What did I end up doing?  I bought the Kaplan Schweser CFA PremiumPlus Package for roughly $1500 about 2 weeks ago.  On the website, the package is described for that “added confidence – when failure is not an option.”  Brilliant.

See, that’s one of the ways I solve my problems, by throwing MONEY at them and watching as these problems disappear like magic.  How long this kind of erratic behavior can sustain itself, I don’t know.  Gotta spend money to make money.

American Express Premier Rewards Gold Card

American Express Premier Rewards Gold Card. This shit is sexy.

I recently got approved to carry one of these around.  Yes, that’s right, what you are seeing is my American Express Premier Rewards Gold Card.  No idea how I managed to swing one considering I’m unemployed at the moment; well probably because I have impeccable credit history and I’m not viewed as a flight risk.

Of course, this card is nowhere near the level of prestige of an American Express Centurion Black Card.  You whip that out anywhere and females will IMMEDIATELY start swooning.  Not even a SHAMWOW can soak up their dripping wet pussies.

“If you have a dream, you have to protect it.  Don’t let someone tell you that you can’t do something.  People can’t do something themselves, so they tell you that you can’t do it.  If you want something, go get it.”

“It’s about finding out what you can be in this world.  Defining it.  Controlling it.  And saying I will take what is mine.”

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My personal brand of heroin

Well somehow this blog leaked and some brokers at my old firm have read this, and of course I know who leaked it.  Not really a big deal though, just want to let everyone know that I know when traffic is coming into my blog and where it comes from.  I just wanted to make some edits and stuff before spreading this blog around too much.

Okkk, so what the fuck have I been up to?

Once I quit the firm, I ended up going on like a city tour and a spending spree.  I went to Boston with a few people and stayed at the Boston Park Plaza hotel.  I saw Blue Man Group for the 2nd time, and it’s not as sick as the Vegas show but it’s still awesome.  Then I hit up Roxy Red nightclub, which turned out better than expected.  Somehow, my group got a ton of girls to roll up at our table, and I ended up paying my share for a few bottles that I only got like 2 drinks from.

There was a week that my sister brought back her boyfriend and some girl friends from Ohio.  I entertained them and went out with them for several days.  The highlight was a trip to AC, staying in a megasuite for $360 a night, eating at The Borgata, and partying it up at The Pool at Harrahs for afterdark Wednesdays.  I made the mistake of drinking too many redbull vodkas before going to sleep.  The next day I drove to NYC with everyone and felt like I was going to die.  To fix that problem, I drank another energy drink for the trip into NYC Chinatown/Soho/Greenwich Village.   Good times.

I’ve also hit up Philly a few times with some friends, going to some places like Raven Lounge, Ladder Fifteen, and Pulse afterhours.  There was a MUSE concert I went to at Wachovia Centre in Philly with my friends from Rutgers.  It was a goddamn amazing rock concert, they set the bar pretty high.  I tried go karting in New York for the 1st time in a long time with a few girls and guys I know.  Then there was another trip to Jersey City and New York City where I helped rack up a bill at a harem in Greenwich Village for wine, $15 shots, and hookah.

Since it was my 24th birthday last week, I am trying to get a Ferrari F430 for 24 hours in the next few weeks, and I will drive that around on some nice roads in New Jersey on a warm sunny day.  Cars are my personal brand of heroin.  When I was younger, I would love flipping through books with pictures of concept cars and super cars.  When I was shopping around for a car, I would obsess over looking at every detail of every car that I considered buying.  I’ve subscribed to countless car magazines.  I’ve watched almost every car review from the British TV series 5th Gear and Top Gear and listened to the snarky, clever reparte delivered by a cast that could only have come from Britain.  I could go on and on.  I think the major reason I’m not a mechanical engineer working for Volkswagen or some other huge car brand is because I never thought it would lead to a distinctive life.

There’s a quote that I’ve seen floating around supposedly said by Frank Sinatra.  He said…

“You buy a Ferrari when you want to be somebody. You buy a Lamborghini when you are somebody.”

Everybody wants to be somebody, and so here I am trying to get a Ferrari from the most reputable supercar club on the east coast to experience a brief moment of awesomeness.  I always envisioned a lifestyle where I would have a stable of supercars that would act as a symbol of my accomplishments in life.  It’s IMPORTANT to set goals, otherwise what the hell are you working for?  If I didn’t want to buy expensive things or spend money on expensive activities, then I’d be fine with $50, 000 a year.  I’d sit back and call it a day.  But no, I have goals.  If you can afford a $200, 000-400, 000 car, then you’re good to go.  Oh, and I mean AFFORD; not lease, not finance, not borrow from a friend, AND spending no more than 5% of your net worth.

For this weekend, I’m going to paintball and possibly meet up with some people in NY.  There’s Rutgersfest to look forward to next week.  Also, I’d like to visit my “therapist”; probably the best way to describe it at this point.  You’re my personal brand of heroin as well.  It’s kind of interesting when two people from different worlds connect in an unexpected place, and the circumstances of how such meetings take place makes you think a bit.  That mystery, and that spirit for adventure makes me reach for more.

My break from the rest of the world doing this brokerage gig has enabled me to come out now with a stronger passion and interest for everything I’m missing.

What am I doing job-wise/career-wise?

I’ve been hearing that there’s been a bunch of people who dropped or are dropping as I speak from the firm that I quit back in February.  Sucks for them, I saw the writing on the wall early.

I am looking to get into high finance so I spent 1.2gs just to register for the CFA Level 1 examination for 2010.  There’s so many books and so much to study, it’s making my head spin.  The Series 7/63 is an absolute joke compared to this.  It took me approximately 2 months to finish the 7/63 while studying for 13 hours a day.  They recommend you study for 300 hours for the CFA.  However, I probably will need to study 600+ hours since I don’t actually have a background in finance, and I need to make sure I pass this on the 1st try.  You have to wait 6 months if you fail and you’ll have to pay for the exam again.  Last year, the pass rate was 34% and over 44, 000 people took the Level 1 exam.  That’s a really shitty percentage and people smarter than me with years of finance experience are taking the exam.

For people who don’t know, the CFA (chartered financial analyst)  is the gold standard by which investment professionals are measured.  Once you complete all three levels, have the necessary work experience, and become a full charterholder, then you are an expert in finance.  You can practically go anywhere.  If an MBA is a well of knowledge a foot deep and a mile wide, then a CFA is a mile deep and a foot wide.

Wall Street is a place where ordinary people control extraordinary amounts of money.  You don’t need to be an innovator to get a piece of the action.  Once you’re in the jet set club, you’ll be privy to a world where all the good things in life are kept secret.  Money doesn’t buy happiness (well maybe 75%), but I’d rather cry in a Ferrari.

I’m not one to worry too much though, what comes will come.

“Fear not when, fear not why, fear not much while we’re alive.  Life is for living not living uptight.  See ya somewhere up in the sky.  Fear not die, I’ll be alive for a million years.  Bye-byes are not for legends, I’m forever young, my name shall survive.” – Jay – Z – “Young Forever”

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Week 15 – Day 100 – Tuesday – The End of a Stockbroker Dream

If you would like to read from the beginning, here’s a link back to the very first post I made.

https://wallstreetbroker.wordpress.com/page/11/

It almost feels like I have been living a dream, a bubble away from the rest of the world.  In the past few months, I’ve neglected a lot of things I used to do, created a new life outlook, and finally for the first time in ages, my direction in life appears a lot more clearly to me.

People think I’m absolutely crazy for giving up so soon after all this hard work.  I have to remind them, I don’t give up.  I simply move on.  It’s not even that bad though, most of my time was spent investing in getting licensed.  Lets not forget I am quite certain I broke the trainee record for taking the most practice examinations, over seventy.  I was THAT dedicated.  There will be lots of disappointed people.  I think many people bet that I would be one of the trainees that would really make it.  I’d like to believe that everyone had a good opinion of me, at least as far as I know, my conversations with them were never awkward or forced.

At the firm, I never showed a moment of weakness and I acted like a machine.  No feelings, no personal problems, just mold me.  My nickname there was “Rockstar” because I would drink so many Rockstar energy drinks to get that physical edge I needed everyday.  Some guys joked about how I already looked like a broker before I was a broker.

So it was with a heavy heart when I called in this morning and said I want to resign from my position at the firm.  Not quit, since that has such a negative connotation…but resign.  The recruiting assistant asked me why, and I gave her a vague reply – “personal circumstances.”  I drafted a quick letter of resignation and emailed it to her.  Just like that, a door that was open to me, closed shut in my face.  You know that expression that goes something like ‘it takes years to build, but seconds to destroy’?  That’s basically what happened here, although obviously not years but months.  I remember that first week when I was told that only a handful of people would make it in the long term.  Well, I just became a statistic.

Before I get TOO negative and yes it will get very negative, I want to talk about the POSITIVES of this firm.  This firm has helped me build a work ethic that’s second to none and has awakened a drive in me to succeed that I never thought I had in me.  It has also helped me see a side of people and a side of Wall Street that I’ve never seen before.  The techniques at this firm do help you become rich if you have the willpower to tough it out.  Depending on what broker team you join, and if you fit in, you can build an enjoyable career here.  The location is amazing, the office is amazing, and the money has the potential to be amazing.  I have no doubt that this firm is going places.  You’ll see it more and more in the news and it will be in a movie and a television show.  The CEO is a megalomaniac with huge ambitions, and any company would do well to have a CEO that proactive and motivated.

I have tried to pinpoint the reasons why I wanted to leave the firm.  There’s no point in working a few weeks to try it out.  This negativity I have right now would strongly affect the way I work and pitch.  I have shortened it down to three reasons.  Before I continue, I want to apologize for using this list format because it seems so arbitrary, but I assure you I am being genuine as to why I am resigning today.  Time to unveil it all.

1.  “We’re not wealth managers, we’re stockbrokers.”

This is a quote from my senior broker which I used in a post a few days ago.  This is a huge problem for me.  The kind of work they do here seems really elementary.  I don’t want to just be a salesman trying to shove stuff down some guy’s throat.  I’d rather take my time to actually help my clients make money rather than help them speculate on stocks that I don’t believe in, but I am forced to pitch with hammy sounding scripts.  I thought about it and I’d rather be a wealth manager than a salesman who sells stock.  I don’t care about the huge commissions anymore because it’s really a huge fraud.  The next two reasons will explain what I mean.

2.  This is a career, not a job.

When I first started, I wanted to believe that I could be with this firm for years.  To rookies in the business, this is not exactly the kind of position where if you leave a few years later, you can transfer elsewhere and be fine.  If you leave to another company or to start your own brokerage, this firm may end up taking a few of your clients.  Years of work could be flushed down the drain.  The work ethic and working style at this firm is so unlike anywhere else, you would have trouble fitting in at another company.  If you wanted to do a career change, there’s not exactly much you can put on the resume nor is there much in the way of transferable skills, except for maybe some soft skills.  Work is basically three simple steps; you cold call with scripted pitches, open accounts, and do a few trades.  There’s really nothing complicated about this business.  That’s why idiots with no college education can succeed in selling stock.

I couldn’t see myself at this firm working these hours doing the kind of work that I’m doing in the next 5 years.  Therefore, what’s the point if I see myself leaving?

3.  I don’t like the way my team/the company conducts business.  MOST IMPORTANT.

Half the brokers here never make their clients any money in the long term.  If they were so smart and could pick such good stocks, why don’t they use their own money and trade for themselves?  The reason is that their job is not to make their clients money.  Their job is to produce and make commissions for themselves and for the firm.  Our firm charges huge commissions and the payouts are pretty huge for senior brokers.  Many of them have the ability to convince people who have portfolio losses of 50% to send even more money.  This job all comes down to arguing with people to send you tons of money so you can discreetly churn their accounts and make money while they lose money.  However, you can take the high road and not partake in these questionable tactics, but then you won’t make much money.  When you work double the hours of a normal workday and get pushed everyday to be a big producer, it will eventually be really difficult to charge clients the minimum commission and not make trades for the sake of making money for yourself.

Compliance here warned all the trainees about churning accounts when we start doing business as stockbrokers.  However, many senior brokers here CHURN ACCOUNTS hitting clients with 3% in and 3% out and 7% on private placements that can lose people 100% of their money!  That’s why they can make $100, 000+ a month.  The CEO of my firm has an alarming FINRA profile which accuses him of churning, fraud, breach of contract, and other violations.

Most of the time, if you’re doing business with the brokers at my firm, you’re gambling.  Rich people are so rich, they don’t mind gambling some of their money, and it inevitably leads to huge losses.  In our pitch, we make it seem like we’re going to share a recommendation with the client that seems tailored for them.  In fact, most brokers just sell whatever our chief market analyst tells us to sell.  Most of them don’t know shit about securities or the intricacies of the market.  They just memorize a pitch and make it sound good, then it’s either buy or sell.  I read somewhere a firm did a study on why people do business with their broker and it’s not because they make money, their #1 answer is because “I like him!”

You know that movie “Boiler Room”?  This firm is almost exactly the same way but we’re presenting legitimate listed stocks.  We’re also using boiler room aggressive tactics and pitches to convince prospects that this is something they need.  That’s not exactly a crime, but anyone who does any reading on financial news or perform any due diligence will realize our pitches are fucking bullshit.  There’s a reason we don’t pitch ANY people who work or have worked in the financial industry.  We hype up a house stock and we pitch it to people, using irrelevant facts, irrelevant names, misleading figures, and honestly that’s not the way to buy stocks if you want to try to make money.  I call 600 people a day in the hopes that one idiot out there will buy into what I’m saying.  I don’t believe in it, so how I can help others believe in it?  This is not something I want to do in a career, and as long as I’m surrounded by people who do this, I will probably be unhappy.

If this kind of technical analysis and boiler room stuff really worked in making investors good money, why is the richest active investor on this planet, Warren Buffett, doing stuff that we’re NOT doing?  In fact, why are most great investors not doing what we’re doing?  There’s a difference between “investing” and what we do, which is run a stock market casino.

My team doesn’t even practice what they preach.  They tell me to be loud, aggressive, and relentless.  However, sometimes I catch them slacking and sounding really boring on the phone.  Honestly, when I work here I feel like I’m becoming retarded.  A lot of people around me really don’t know much about ANYTHING except buy and sell.  There has to be a better way to become wealthy or at least a smarter organization to work for.  I’m not trying to be a pretentious smart ass and tell people how to work or how to run a company, I only know what’s best for me now and what may be best for my future.

To people getting into the brokerage business.  Do not invest your soul into a hotshot firm that’s telling you to work as a stockbroker because you can get rich quick.  That’s not a good reason to become a stockbroker, because there are many other ways to be wealthy.  Make sure you love every aspect including the people and the firm itself.

“Wall Street is the only place that people ride to in a Rolls Royce to get advice from those who take the subway.” – Warren Buffett

Life is simple, you make choices and you don’t look back.

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Week 15 – Day 99 – Monday – Resignation

Today is President’s Day.  No one really knows or cares about this holiday in the working world.  It’s just the 3rd day in a long weekend.  All the public needs to remember is how America is still the land of opportunity and you’re entitled to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.  The 3rd item in that list is the most elusive.

I decided today that I’m going to put my notice of resignation in tomorrow.  I have thought this over the past few days, and I have come to the conclusion that I do not want to work at this firm.  I’ll discuss my reasons in tomorrow’s post.

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Week 14 – Day 97 – Saturday

The boardroom is a different kind of beast on Saturdays.

There was trance and house music playing on the speakers.  “The Departed” was being played in the floor’s 40+ plasma television screens.  In between the “fuck yous” of that movie, there was the occasional announcement that you were listening to DJ Tiesto’s club life.  Everyone was wearing casual street clothes.

The reason to come in on Saturdays is to practice pitches, call people at their homes, and also make sure you don’t get stale over the weekend.  You have to be sharp at all times when you work at this firm.

Senior brokers usually work in teams of 2.  One does all the account opening, the other manages the accounts and does the trading.  At around noon, my senior broker that does all the account opening pulled me and a few other guys into the conference room.  I haven’t been in the conference room since that first week when I was just a trainee.

It was FREEZING cold.  If I’m feeling nervous or uneasy, nothing makes it worse than cold temperature.  I walked through a room with plush carpeting, ornate velvet seats, and statues of bulls to remind me that I was on Wall Street.  In the conference room, my senior broker made everyone go one by one and say their pitches as he role played as the secretary and the prospect.

He ended up yelling at everyone.  Some guys have been there for 2-3 months and they still are pretty bad.  I’ve been there for less than a week, and I already sound just as good as them if not better.  The only problem is that sometimes I forget what to say next because I think too much about what I need to say.  He told us we need to shut everyone out of our lives, don’t give a shit about your friends.  They don’t care about you.

His speech sounded almost kind of sad.  I felt bad for him that he has been so brainwashed and that no one cared about him when he was broke.  Here’s part of what he said.

“Don’t write wood.  Don’t get leads that aren’t good.  You don’t want to open an account with some guy who’s not qualified and not interested in ideas.  God forbid you open an account with him, he’s not going to send you any fucking money.  You have to excite them.  Listen to what I tell you to do and what I tell you to say, and you’re going to make money.  If you don’t listen, you’re not going to make any money.  You have to become an animal here to succeed and be sharp everyday you’re here.  You have to treat this as a career, not a job.  You want a job, you can go down to McDonald’s.  Wouldn’t $20, 000, $30, 000 a month change your lives?  Raise your hand if you think that’s not going to change your life.  You can be a total idiot and make it here.  I’ve seen total morons make hundreds of thousands of dollars a month.  We’re not money managers here, we’re stockbrokers.  I don’t know, is anyone here a Harvard MBA grad and can be a money manager?  I’ll be the first to admit here that I don’t know shit about stocks, I let ****** handle all of that. “

I met up with my parents on Wall Street to head over to my grandparents in Queens for the day.  There’s a lot to think about.  I’m starting to think that this place really isn’t going to work for me, money be damned.

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Week 14 – Day 96 – Friday

I went into work today with mixed feelings but by the end of the day, I felt much better.

A junior broker had given me a headset to use so now I was able to pace freely while I talked.

There was a film crew going around the office filming for something, maybe the movie or tv show that we’ll be in?

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Week 14 – Day 95 – Thursday – Another SNOW DAY

Holy FUCK.  I was out at 5am this morning digging a path for my car to get out of my driveway.  When I backed my car out, it got stuck in the street about 6 feet from my house.

The situation was FUBAR.  There was absolutely no way for me to get to work other than walking, which is obviously a crazy thing to do.  I wouldn’t make it on time anyway.  If I’m not in the boardroom by at least 8am, then I get sent home.  See what I said yesterday about how bad it is missing one day of work at this firm?  Well missing two days back to back is enough to get me fired.  People have been fired for less.

I called my 2nd in command senior broker and he told me to just make sure I show up tomorrow.

At around 8am, my main senior broker called me.  Conversation is as follows.

“Yo *** where are you?”

“I’m at home.”

“What are you doing at home?”

“Didn’t ******* tell you what happened?”

“Yea, you can’t get to the trains?”

“No, I take a bus in, but I can’t drive to the station.”

“Well where’s the train station?”

“Like 30 minutes from me, maybe longer because of how it’s like today.  My car is stuck so I can’t get there.  They did a bad job plowing the roads here.”

“…Did you see the YMCA sign outside this building?  Does this look like a nonprofit come whenever you want?”

“No…what?”

“Work here is MANDATORY.  This is unbelievable…you just passed your test and you missed two days of work.  Listen I have no problem cutting you, I have people coming from farther away than you.  Everyone’s here.  You want to make money?  You are to NEVER miss a day of work again.”

“Ok…I understand.”

“We’re never going to miss work again right?”

“Right…”

“Ok then, I’ll see you tomorrow in the AM.”

Well after that call, I spent the day wondering if it was worth the risk to continue working at this firm.  I got lucky.  I could have gotten fired.  What if one day I legitimately can’t make it in, and I get fired because of it?  All the senior staff there have no problems getting to work because they all live like blocks away from Wall Street.  They wouldn’t really understand any sort of excuses.

Do I want to take the risk of having months and months of hard work taken away from me?  I cannot believe I’m already starting to doubt working there.  My doubts aren’t just because of a snow day, I’ve been having them for weeks now, but after starting work as a real broker, things are starting to become more real.

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Week 14 – Day 94 – Wednesday – SNOW DAY

I had to call out today because a blizzard was starting that would eventually whiteout the entire upper east coast.

It was a good call by me since I probably wouldn’t have been able to get back home.  Public transportation stopped running at like 7pm.

By the end of the day, there was like 2 feet of snow in New Jersey.  People in NYC wouldn’t understand what it’s like to live in the suburbs.  Snow gets cleaned up quickly and efficiently in the city within a few hours, and there’s subways to get around.  If you’re outside of the city, a blizzard will pretty much trap you in the house for the entire day.

Missing a day is really bad though.  This firm has almost no leniency with that.

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Week 14 – Day 93 – Tuesday

Today was almost a repeat of yesterday.

I realized that when my senior broker put me on the phones, I might have been calling states I haven’t been registered in yet.  That’s a huge compliance no-no.  I went into the back office to talk to the recruiting head assistant about it.  She said, “don’t call anyone until you know where you’re registered!”

I sat there until 8am and my senior broker came in the back looking for me.  I explained to him what I was doing.  He then said, “I don’t care what she said.”  LOL, ok whatever, if I get in trouble, it’s going to be unpleasant.

I got on the phones again and paced back and forth yelling at prospects, and trying to convince them that they need to let me share one idea in the stock market in the near future.  Let me remind you all that I’m not allowed to sit down.  I don’t have a chair anyway so even if I was allowed to, I wouldn’t be able to.

At 9am, the firm had the usual floor meeting.  The CEO started off talking normally and suddenly exploded into a rage, his face turning red, and veins coming out of his forehead.  I don’t even really remember what he was mad at.

I do remember him saying in a rage, “let me remind you this is a RESPECTED institution and you’re here to build a life for yourself and do very well for yourselves and your clients.  You are to be in here at 8am on the phones or you’re OUT OF HERE!  This firm is going to 10, 000 brokers in 5 years.  Believe me it’s GOING TO HAPPEN.  It’s going to happen with OR WITHOUT some people at this firm!!!”

The guy is megalomaniac, not that being one is necessarily a bad thing, but I feel like he’s going to die at age 40 from a heart attack.  By the end of the day, I felt very exhausted.  I left work at around 9:15pm, and got on the 2/3 subway to Port Authority.  I arrived home at roughly 10:30pm.  My workday with commute and all, runs from 5:30am to 10:30pm.

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Week 14 – Day 92 – Monday

Today I had to learn the three page pitch that the firm uses when cold calling prospects.

I spent several hours going over it out loud in the hallways while new trainees were practicing their 1st day pitch.  A new group started and they asked me a lot of questions about the firm and what it takes to succeed.  I gave them my pitch on the firm and helped excite them a bit…but c’mon now what am I, a senior broker or something?  Stop bothering me!

At around 4pm, my senior broker came to get me and I did some role play with him.  He started to tell me different things to say which ended up confusing me, and I felt like I just wasted a lot of time remembering lines I wouldn’t even follow.  My team style is to go immediately into qualifying after a rebuttal.  So after quickly learning brand new lines to say on the fly, I got on the phones.  Within a few hours, I remembered how much cold calling sucked ass.

I worked until 8:40pm and my senior broker let me go home and told me to get ready for tomorrow.

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