Week 1 – Day 5 on Wall Street

On 5 hours of sleep, I got into the city at about 7:00am today and went to get a bagel w/ cream cheese and an orange juice at Stir Cafe by Wall St.

I arrived at the company building at approximately 7:25am.  As the elevator doors opened on the top floor, I was greeted by the usual pumping music.  I started by yelling my pitch at the walls, then I got on the phones and started dialing away.  Cold calling sucks ass.

The CEO gave the floor a quick speech about how if he gets another stupid question or sees bags under any desks, he’s going to get compliance to remove you.  “If I see them, then that means I can’t trust you.  If I can’t trust you, then you’re a liability.  If you’re a liability, then you’re getting out of here.”  LOL.

Briefing.com gave the entire company a free lunch and a quick presentation.  Their fucking product costs $3000.  Insane price but I have to remember how rich some of these brokers are.  It’s basically a stock information tool.

During lunch, some junior brokers started hassling this trainee who looks like McLovin from that movie Superbad.  This is that pussy kid that I mentioned in earlier posts.  He’s 18 though so you gotta cut him some slack…I mean I was a pussy too when I was 18.

Luckily we got out at 4pm today…or at least the other trainees did.  I stayed until 4:20pm.

My senior broker told me to come in at 12pm tomorrow.  I don’t even know if the other trainees have to come in, it depends on the broker.  Do I care?  Honestly, I want to just relax for the weekend, but if I have to go in for just 4 hours, then I’ll go.  I really have to get used to working 68 to 75 hour weeks.  Hilarious hours with a less than 50% guarantee that you’ll make it.

At the end of this week, I made a goal.  $200, 000 by age 25.  Gotta go through hell to get to heaven.

Week 1 – Day 4 on Wall Street

I slept a little longer today before waking up.

Took the 6:15am bus in and got there at 7:15am.

Walked right into the boardroom and got on the phones.  I got pulled out briefly with the other trainees for quick briefing in the training room.  Some trainee came in with a shitty suit and an even shittier tie.  The tie had baseball graphics all over it.  Hilarious.  What an idiot.  Another trainee told him, “What are you doing man?  This is Wall Street, not Sesame Street.”

I stood for about 13 hours straight today while making hundreds of calls.

The Series 7 and Series 63 training books cost me $575 which I had to pay for.  Base pay for the job is $300.  Hilariously bad.

My actual day was about 15 hours long, and I ended up staying 40 minutes later than all the other trainees.  No retreat, no surrender.

Week 1 – Day 3 on Wall Street

I arrived insanely early again today after waking up insanely early.  5am alarm goes off.  Snooze until 5:10am.  Leave the house at 5:40am.  Get on the 6:00am bus.

I got to Wall St at 6:55am today so I went to go eat breakfast.

After briefly sitting in the training room with the other trainees, we were all sent out into the boardroom.

Everyone had to stand for almost 11 hours straight today.  You’re not allowed to sit down when making calls and that’s all we are doing now.  I called almost 400 people.  Some people finally realize just how difficult it is to even get people to stay on the phone for 5 seconds.  I already knew it would be like this.

Week 1 – Day 2 on Wall Street

Today I was the 2nd trainee to arrive at the building at 7:05am.  Everyone is supposed to be there at 7:30am.  Some guy didn’t show up and got fired.  Another guy was late and almost got fired.  After taking a look at some of these people, I have some kind of idea of who will make it and who won’t make it.

After all the trainees arrive, we get similiar speeches from the day before about how the firm is in the business of making money and lots of it and how you can buy yourself a new life.  Several people are being squawked on the PA.  A few have made over $40, 000 before lunch.

The CEO’s brother comes in and the first thing he says is – “Uhh…I own a 1br apartment in downtown Manhattan and I do whatever the fuck I want.”  Another speech from him.

Afterwards, we receive the pitch sheet from the day before and have 4 hours to memorize it and pitch it back to a senior broker.

At around noon, a senior broker comes in with the business development head, the managing director, and the CEO’s brother.  Everyone got into a line and went one by one.  Only 2 or 3 people got okayed…and barely.  I was not one of them and was told to go sit down.  However, he got everyone sitting down to do it over.  I fucked up again midway and froze up.  Wow, this is fucking difficult to do with all these people looking at you and all this pressure.  Everyone in the room was scared as fuck.

The broker said, “we’re not here to make friends, we’re here to train you to be the best.  If you guys can’t remember three simple rebuttals, then maybe you shouldn’t be in this business.  LEARN YOUR REBUTTALS.”  The managing director said, “nothing personal guys if we come down on you or if your brokers come down on you.  If they’re coming down on you, it’s because we’re coming down on them.  There’s no fucking around once you’re out in the boardroom.  If you don’t impress me and I can’t hear you, you’re gone.”

We were told that everyone who didn’t make it had to go again after lunch.  I skipped lunch and drilled the pitch down.  Fuck my life if I were to fail again.  On the third try, I did it with no freezing up and said it almost completely word for word with emphasis.  Four people didn’t make the cut and were told they could come back a month from now and try again.  Some kid who looks like a pussy and sounds like a pussy somehow made the cut…surprise of the day.

I received my training materials from the HR assistant…and I’m going to study that tonight.

Around the late afternoon, I was sent out into the boardroom with three other guys to talk to a senior broker.  He’s only 26 years old, got licensed when he was 19, made his 1st million dollars at 21, and is a top 5 producer in the firm.  He was talking about doing $200, 000 parties in Vegas, his penthouse apartment in NY, and how ridiculous things got for him.  I didn’t realize this meeting was to talk about working under him.  I was supposed to work under another guy.  Whatever though, this guy is fine.

When we go back into the training room, the broker I’m supposed to work for asked about me.  The business development head got a bit confused and tried to get me back.

I get sent back into the boardroom with 3 other guys to meet the 26 year old guy’s partner.  This guy didn’t goto college, failed the series 7 like 4 times, and is basically dumb, however he has developed a skill which has enabled him to make like 1 million dollars a year.  He told us a story about how he was opening 5 or 6 accounts in a day and some ugly Jewish kid came in and opened 1 big account.  The guy sent the kid $13 million dollars and he was making like $150, 000 a month and leaving at 2pm.  He got fired for that.  This firm wants people who will work as hard as possible every day and not abuse the system of leaving early when you’re on your own.

Not sure what exactly happened with my broker situation.  At the end of the day, the HR head told me now I’m going to work for the senior broker who tested our sales pitch earlier.  Shit is hitting the fan soon.

Week 1 – Day 1 on Wall Street

Today I woke up at 5am in the morning.  All trainees were to report to the building at 7:15am.  I live in Central Jersey so there’s at least a 1 hour 15 minute commute to Manhattan with no traffic.  I felt surprisingly refreshed for having so little sleep; 5 hours versus my usual 9 to 10 hours.  After putting on a $600 Tommy Hilfiger navy pinstripe power suit and some elaborate burgundy shoes from Mezlan, I jumped into my roadster and sped to the bus station.

I rolled into  the lobby of the building at 7:10am.  There were already maybe 9 recruits waiting by the desk.  Many of them looked meek, confused, and restless.  For those who have seen the movie, remember these lines from Boiler Room?

“That suit’s dog shit, get a new suit.”

“Alright…I want to talk to you guys about appearance…okay…because most of you dress like shit.  I don’t know what your financial situation is…and I don’t want to know, but you gotta get yourself at least one decent suit because have a kinda minimum level  of aesthetic professionalism here that we have to maintain.  In three months, you can outfit your whole closet, for now just get something to hold you over.  There’s an important phrase that we use here, I think it’s time you all learned it.  Act as if.  You understand what that means?  Act as if you are the fucking president of this firm.  Act as if you have a 9 inch cock okay?  ACT AS IF.  And to do that properly, you need to at least look the part…so go get dressed.

Very true here.  I don’t know where some of these guys buy their suits.  They are absolutely terrible with loose fitting jackets and pants bunching by the ankles.  That’s how you can always tell a new recruit from a senior broker at my firm.  The senior brokers that came into the lobby were wearing these incredible looking fitted suits with power ties, designer sunglasses, and move with a powerful stride.  I believe the way you dress is important, not to purposely show off to others, but rather to feel good about yourself.  It will help you feel like you’re the fucking man, and once you feel like that, you will believe that, and then you become that.  Men’s Warehouse and SYMS sells plenty of nice suits at flexible prices, and if you really can’t afford it, the first thing you should get when you make money is a decent suit.  Also, shoes are important.  What the fuck is it with the waterproof Rockports?

By 7:45am-8am, I made my way to the top floor with about 20 other trainees.  We all basically sat in a room like a bunch of clueless morons for some time until the guy who hired us all, the business development HR rep strolled in to greet us, lets call him “G”.  He gave us a short speech and then left us alone for awhile until the managing director of the firm came in to talk to us.  This was basically his speech paraphrased…

“We run this place basically in two ways.  One, like the Ritz Carlton and Two, like the Navy Seals.  We don’t use Lincoln Town cars here.  People get chauffeured around in Mercedes Benz with Cristal champagne.  THINK BIG.  We don’t fuck around here.  We train you to be the best broker on Wall St.  If you want to go down the street and work for one of those ducks, go right ahead.  They’re crying because they’re not making ANY money.  No one cries here.  You want to make $25k, $50k, $150k, $250k a month?  You can do it here.  We have guys who are 19 years old, 1st two months on their own, they’re making $100,000.  There are young kids here with sick apartments and cars that their friends could only dream of having.

I go into a store, and I don’t want to look at the price tag.  I buy it.  I do whatever the fuck I want.  I take my friends out to dinner and pay for the meal before we order.

We’re the fastest growing firm on the street right now and we’re looking to have a 1000 strong in a year.  We take the time to train you right here because we want everyone here to be big producers.  Everyone here helps each other.  If you put in the time, we’ll put in the time to help you.  Not all of you are going to make it.  There will be cuts and there’s nothing I can do about that.  Never give up.  Stay hungry and you will succeed.”

Then the CEO got on the PA and said something along these lines…

“I want positive energy in this firm and I want people to think BIG.  Some of you are like ohhh my client was brought down from $5 million to $2.5 million.  Are you kidding me right now?  Are you kidding me right now???  You’re saying that when you’re in our beautiful office with our beautiful carpets, 42, 000 square feet, 43 plasma tvs, marble bathrooms, and you’re being negative?  I’m looking over some of these numbers and some of you guys are pathetic.  I want everyone here to be working.  No one here is going to sit around staring at their screens.  NO ONE.  No way no how, over my dead body.  Every one of you will work and think big.  We have one of the best analysts on Wall St, he gives you ideas, listen to him and pitch.  We’re on TV.  We had Rudy Giuliani in here.  We were shaking hands with Mayor Bloomberg.  Every one of you will THINK BIG.”

The rest of the day was pretty much spent trying to remember a 1 page pitch that was given to all the recruits.  We were told we have a few hours today and tomorrow to remember it, then some people may get cut based on that alone.  I ordered my series 7 and 63 books on the way home.

All roads lead back to Wall Street

I find myself back on Wall Street after 7 months of soul searching.  I’m 23 years old and graduated from Rutgers University in May 2008.

After getting laid off from my plush job at Citigroup back in March 2009 (due to the financial crisis and a surprise merger of Smith Barney with Morgan Stanley), I had taken a long break, went to Vegas, went to Atlantic City, went to strip clubs, went out and relaxed with old friends, and tried to find another industry to work in other than the financial industry.

Before I continue, I’d like to say that there’s someone unique that I probably won’t be seeing for awhile, but I’ll be back one day.  I’ll meet you halfway.

I spent a short time interning for absolutely no pay at a talent management internship and a post production house to try to break into the entertainment industry.  I can’t even begin to describe how shitty the talent management internship was.  I was trying to find a path to become a producer, and obviously I had to get some sort of experience.  It was difficult to find jobs as assistants to producers in the NYC metro area.  It didn’t take long for me to realize that the entertainment industry was in much worse shape than the financial industry… with almost no paying entry level jobs.

My friend works at a fast growing firm on Wall St as a stockbroker and suggested from time to time that I should just get licensed.  Eventually I had enough of sitting around, wasting my fucking time, twiddling my fucking thumbs, and not making any money.  I said fuck this shit, applied, pestered the business development HR rep until he brought me in for an interview, and I finally got my shot at being a stockbroker.

Has anyone seen Boiler Room?  Well that’s only half the story…being part of the real thing is a little different.  I know I’m going to be in for a life changing ride, and I’ll do whatever it takes to get to the top.